Why spend weeks slogging through The Iliad when you could just read the haiku? From Homer to Faulkner to Lao Tzu, the Great Books are now within the reach of even the shortest attention spans. Show off your literary prowess at cocktail parties with minimal prep time, thanks to the author of the popular Haikus for Jews.

In the sixteenth century, Zen monks in Japan developed the haiku, a poem consisting of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables. Little did they know that their ancient art form was destined to become a handy tool for today’s time-crunched Western reader!

Reducing eyestrain and deforestation, Haiku U. distills dialogue and plot, capturing the essence of our favorite literary classics, seventeen syllables at time:

Marcel Proust, Remembrance of Things Past:
Tea-soaked madeleine—
a childhood recalled. I had
brownies like that once.

Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre:
O woe! His mad wife—
in the attic! Had they but
lived together first.

Just in time for graduation, Haiku U. gives the gift of an entire literary canon, packed into one hilarious gem.