It this book you get a clear picture of what happened to Zsadist during his first century of life. He tells you from his memory exactly what was done to him and how empty and broken after having to endure it for so long. He gives with such painful clarity how he was made into a blood slave and how he was raped by men and women.

His only companion is anger, rage, and self imposed burning torture that a lack of food and blood gives him. The pain he feels let's him know he's still alive. It's how he's live for so long he doesn't know how to live without pain.

Even after meeting Bella feeling her desire for him doesn't change it. Her desire for him frightens him because he associates a females desire for him with pain and degradation. He pushes her away and want's nothing to do with her, but from the moment he touches her something changes in her. He feels protective of her so when she's taken by the lessers he can't stop searching for her or torturing those he finds until he finds her.

For the months of incarceration Bella remembers Zsadist. He's the one that helps her through this. She know's he'll find her. When a captured vampire get's loose with the help of Bella she is finally found. Unfortunately the were unable to get to her in-time to save her from the torture the lesser put her through.

With Zsadist's help she recover's physically. Mentally it takes longer. All she knows is that Zsadist was the first one she heard and so now she feels unable to survive without him. He wants to help her and he doesn't know how. How can one so scared by life help the one person who he's suppose to protect. Can they both heal one another or will his fear push her away.