Step into the wacky world of “womanless wedding” fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing. Learn why the word “snow” sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else.

What’s the Southern woman’s take on Wonderbras, fried turkeys and ‘tater guns, Barbie and Ken (tip: she’s a ho), politicians (tip: they’re all hos) and marital success (if you can’t agree on a perfect pizza ratio, y’all are doomed)?

Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in Bless Your Heart, Tramp, a hilarious look at Southern – and just plain human – foibles, up-close and personal.

So pour yourself a glass of sweet tea and curl up on the pie-azza with Bless Your Heart, Tramp.

If you’re a Southerner, you’ll understand. If you’re not – well, God help you.