Aloof. Haughty. Disdainful. Withholding. Moody. Petulant. Imperious. Sound like anyone you know? It does if you own a cat. And while you’ve probably made hundreds of excuses about why your cat’s this way, the sad fact is—your cat’s just not that into you.

Don’t despair. It’s not you. It’s your cat. Cats invented not being into you. Richard Smith is here to explain, and help.

Forlorn cat owners everywhere will see themselves in this book—in the “I Guess Her Mind Is on Other Things” excuse. In the “Maybe She Needs Her Own Space” excuse. In the “Maybe He Didn’t Recognize Me in My New Hawaiian Shirt” excuse. They’ll educate themselves about feline indifference through the Know Thy Kitty Quizzes. Test their cat’s I.Q. Take the Schnapps-Porsche Well-Adjusted Cat Owner Analysis. Discover Ten Ways to Suck Up to Your Cat, including #2: leave affectionate Post-its in her kitty litter.

In the tradition of All I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat (1.7 million copies in print), Kliban’s Cat (985,000 copies in print), and even New York Timesbestseller Bad Cat (487,000 copies in print), Your Cat's Just Not That Into You is utterly loopy and yet dead-on wise—this is, after all, from the author of the classic Dieter’s Guide to Weight Loss During Sex. It’s filled with insights into the interior life of the world’s most maddeningly mysterious animal, and into the damaged psyches of cat lovers who are so often given to wonder: Am I my cat’s punk?