You think it's easy to keep a boyfriend, run a business, and survive for centuries as one of the immortal undead? Just try it sometime, sweetheart...

It was hard enough when a sexy Scottish vamp bit me while I was feeling a bit...bloated, leaving me eternally retaining, if you get my drift. But when a frustrated vampire hunter firebombs my vintage clothing boutique, I'm ready to pitch a fit. Then my long-time, sometime lover takes off in a rage to hunt the hunter and prove himself worthy of me or something manly like that. And now things are really getting out of hand.

The Energy Vampires want me-and not in a good way. They're paranormal drug dealers, selling thrills to those who've lived for ages, been everywhere, and done everything...and they want to suck me dry.

But it'll take more than a few super-suckers to get the goods out of this girl. And if they want to make things personal, I'm going to make things downright painful...