I was highly annoyed by Anastasia's weird internal conflict; she wants her kinky ways with Christian, trying to adjust to his lifestyle, but breaks down every time he obliges—crying it's too much and it's too painful. Make up your mind, woman! Everything is repetitive as always. It's like EL James copy-and-pasted her sex scenes into each other because most of them have the exact same wording and structure, but different venues, e.g. bed, table, aircraft, toilet (yes, she went there... kinky!).

Ana and Christian's roller-coaster ride of a relationship isn't even dramatic or heartfelt anymore; it's just exasperating. I'm also not sure how the heck they are so deeply committed and in lurve after having known each other for only two months. Two. Months. Anastasia doesn't even know what Christian does for a living, for crying out loud! All she knows is that he's some hoity-toity entrepreneur. I have suspicions he's an underground slave auctioneer but sadly, this tidbit isn't actually revealed in the book. 

SPOILER START: And they don't get a prenup??/ He's a BILLIONAIRE and they don't get a prenup because he trusts her so much. Just let that sink in for about fifteen seconds. This series should be relabeled as fantasy, not romance. SPOILER END

The ending... ugh. Grossly idealized, but I one thing I liked is how the book concludes exposing Christian's full story. Getting to know him so deeply was probably the best part of the novel. His love for Ana is clouded with overprotectiveness and insecurity, but it's still deep nonetheless. The heart of the dilemma is his need for control and his need for Anastasia. She believes the two aren't mutually exclusive, but even so, they just might be his ruin. These emotions are brutal, and they're actually sweet—knowing where they come from, but really: that's the only thing that kept me reading.

Stylistically, you guessed it! Pretentious big words thrown around carelessly, but otherwise very basic, very weak. It's a shame to erotica writers that James identifies herself as one of them.

Pros: Great character-building // Christian's past 

Cons: Let's put it like this: Book 1 should never have happened, Book 2 is dumb, and Book 3 is dumber. That's all you have to know

Love: Real quotes from the book that I needed to share with you: 

He looks so sexy and genial.
(What?)

He's so adroit.
(What?)

I'm so aroused.
(I would be, too, if I orgasmed at the slightest breeze.)

(Two reasons to shoot me now:)
1. Mr. Orgasmic was using his fine-motor sexing skills on me.
2. Why are his feet so hot? 

(Accurately displaying the length of Anastasia's attention span, or lack thereof:)
I will never understand this man. Hmm—this crème brulée is delicious.
I glance at my watch: 2:15 p.m. He should be here soon. My tea is cold... Ugh!

Verdict: Don't bother reading the actual book, because I can summarize the entire thing up for you here: sex; fight; makeup sex; fight; makeup sex; fight; fight fight; flight; yell; pregnancy scare; panic; OMG; major fight; weep; "hi," I breathed, "hi," he whispered back; makeup sex; happily every after. I really had high hopes for Fifty Shades Freed after liking the second book in the series so much, but alas, EL James disappoints.

6 out of 10 hearts (3 stars): Satisfying for a first read, but I'm not going back.

Source: Complimentary copy provided by Edenfantasys in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you!).